"J. Drew Silvers" (drewcoustic)
03/07/2014 at 16:32 • Filed to: Tires, Mounting, stupidity
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"J. Drew Silvers" (drewcoustic)
03/07/2014 at 16:32 • Filed to: Tires, Mounting, stupidity | 4
| 16 |
*Update* This is satire, not a tutorial, as some in the comments seem to have assumed. Don't take it as anything other than that. I went into it with the intention of writing this article and taking pictures and did not highlight every step because I wrote it in jest. Keep this in mind.
I am self-admittedly one of those people who has a stubborn streak of irrelevant stupidity concerning problem solving. What I mean by saying such a thing is that I will try whatever I can to avoid having someone fix an issue for me. This happens in my personal life as well as in the random, stupid instances which cannot be readily controlled. There are exceptions to this idea because I try very hard to only allow myself to be impacted by this mindset. The last thing I want to do is irritate another person because of my own lack of internal reasoning. Case in point? Car tires. Specifically, one car tire.
Dead-center, you can see a gouge in the tread of this otherwise solid Toyo tire that was on the front of my Thunderbird. What did I run over? I have no idea, but there is a slit big enough to shove a penny through which made it unusable.
Back in March of last year, I bought a cheap tire plug kit and tried to remedy the problem as I have done a few times in the past. The plug held for about two days and then blew out in Atlanta when the car was sitting in a parking lot. Strike one.
"Go get a new tire, Drew."
No, not yet, because I am a stubborn idiot.
I am also one of those car guys who completely hates space-saver donut-type spare tires you get in every car these days, so I keep a full-size spare in the trunk on a rim that does not match the others on the car, but is still the proper size (that awful factory spare doesn't match anyway). Running on a mismatched rim that had a good tire on it after the first one acquired a puncture never bothered me, but still, every now and then I would go back to that perfectly good tire and try to mend its only blemish - that rather large gash. Because, again, I am an idiot.
A few months, a few more attempts at plugging the gash, some rubber adhesives, and a bottle of "Slime Brand" tire sealant (For the love of God, NEVER put that stuff in a car tire. I knew better, really, but did it anyway.) I made the decision to take the tire off the rim to patch it from the inside as you are supposed to do in the first place. I took auto shop in high school, so I have changed my fair share of tires, but with the proper machine, of course about ten years ago. Breaking down a car tire without that magical machine though? Never. But instead of paying a few bucks to a tire shop, I grabbed some patches from the parts store and, well...
Yep, with my dad's help as a second hand to hold the thing down, we took the tire off the rim with a tire iron that I believe was factory equipment on a 1936 Mercury and a crowbar (for the record, he told me to take it to a shop, but being his offspring, he is well-versed in my occasionally questionable decisions). The tire was full of that Slime sealant also, but I spent some time cleaning all of that useless crap out of there and did not take any pictures - probably because I was covered in the nasty, green goo. I'll say it again: For the love of God, don't use that stuff in a car tire, ever.
Earlier that day, I had bought an internal, radial tire patch kit. This meant I was finally going to get the rubber donut of doom fixed and the stupid hole would be mended as I triumphantly conquered an issue I should not have been conquering myself in the first place. But, thrice now, I am an idiot.
See that? Can you see it? Patches installed after roughing the surface with a wire wheel on a drill. I used two patches because there was another small hole, which was no big deal, but, when in Rome, patch a tire? Right?
After a few choice words, we had the tire stretched back into place and also seated the bead "properly", meaning someone nearly lost a finger. Bazinga.
It held air! The patch worked and all was well! I drove home after work fully aware that my stupid car tire issue which I had allowed to consume random intervals of my spare time and resulted in many unnecessary roadside tire changes had been addressed and remedied. Such an accomplishment. With a little effort and...
It went flat. My patch gave out in less than twenty-four hours.
Sometimes I try too hard and take the most difficult path in life that I can just for the challenge, because I thrive on silly things that most people find annoying. I see all of this from a viewpoint of principal and personal resilience, while others see it as stupid and unnecessary. I was testing my own patience through it all and was determined to not be shown up by a tire of all things. Yet, in the end, I put my tail between my legs and bought a new Bridgestone tire over the weekend...
The old tire with the hole in it? It is in my garage right now. I am no hoarder, but I will not be satisfied until I find a solution to the problem. Again, because for the fourth time now, I am an admittedly stubborn, stupid, unnecessarily resilient idiot.
So, should you break down and mount a tire without the proper tools? If it is a performance tire with a stiff sidewall, probably not. Something with a tall sidewall, like a truck or SUV tire though? Maybe. But you would still probably need to have them balanced.
For the record, this is the only time I have not yet succeeded in an automotive repair endeavor. If I can convert a car from an automatic to a manual transmission, rebuild an engine, and build a fully-functioning race car in my garage, this stupid tire will not prevail...
Grace and Peace,
J. Drew Silvers
Clown Shoe Pilot
> J. Drew Silvers
03/07/2014 at 16:36 |
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Get the road hazard warranty when you buy the new rubber this weekend. Then you won't have to McGuyver this stuff.
deekster_caddy
> J. Drew Silvers
03/07/2014 at 16:58 |
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When you plug a tire:
Make sure you twist twist twist the plug before you yank the handle back out. I also smear rubber cement all over it before I insert. I've used plugs I don't know how many times, and never had one fail. Make sure your plug and handle look like this before it goes in:
I have changed tires, and there is a tool for that. It's called a 'tire spoon'. My '54 MG comes with them, so you can patch your inner tubes on the side of the road. I used them when I got new tires for it a few years ago. What a workout. Basically not very different from a tire iron, but there are two of them and they have more appropriately shaped ends for scooping the bead out without harming it or the rim. I did all 4 tires by hand. Not sure I would use them on anything but steelies though.
desertdog5051
> J. Drew Silvers
03/07/2014 at 17:20 |
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Slime if for bicycle tires. And I'm sure I will catch hell for that from the bicycle crowd.
CobraJoe
> J. Drew Silvers
03/07/2014 at 17:27 |
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I used to do replace and patch tires all the time back on the farm without a machine.
The hardest part was breaking the bead, and we had a long lever tool thingy for that, but the rest is proper tire irons, some patience, and proper technique.
mazdaspeed2
> J. Drew Silvers
03/07/2014 at 17:29 |
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Great write up as always.
-Another Stubborn Idiot
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J. Drew Silvers
> mazdaspeed2
03/07/2014 at 22:59 |
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With other idiots around, I don't feel so alone. Haha. Thanks!
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J. Drew Silvers
> desertdog5051
03/07/2014 at 23:00 |
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This whole conversation made me laugh. Thanks for that.
Old-Busted-Hotness
> J. Drew Silvers
03/08/2014 at 07:00 |
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Patches and plugs are for holes in the tread. You've got sidewall damage, so replace the tire.
Philbert/Phartnagle
> J. Drew Silvers
03/08/2014 at 07:01 |
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You evidently canned my post or kinja messed it up without me getting a chance to reply to your reply to my original post.
1. I DID NOT think your article was a tutorial.
2. I was ONLY answering your QUESTION and making a SUGGESTION.
Read carefully before you jump to conclusions.
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J. Drew Silvers
> Philbert/Phartnagle
03/08/2014 at 08:15 |
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It wasn't about you at all! Someone else picked apart every little detail of what I had written and told me I didn't know what I was doing. He wouldn't leave it alone and stooped to name calling.
But yes, Kinja messed it up. I added the update and bumped the post to clarify in case anyone else were taking it seriously. When it bumped, every single comment disappeared (notice all the comments now are from after the "new" posted time). There were over a dozen of them. I don't jump to conclusions or take action of any sort in any part of my life without concrete reason to do so. You may have, though ;). Haha. Kidding.
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Philbert/Phartnagle
> J. Drew Silvers
03/08/2014 at 14:02 |
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Hahaha! I was actually going to take that out, but kinja wouldn't let me edit it.
Sorry for the misunderstanding, good luck in your future endeavors.
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J. Drew Silvers
> Old-Busted-Hotness
03/08/2014 at 18:44 |
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It's not as far over as it looks in the picture. It's the angle in which the pictures were taken.
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J. Drew Silvers
> CobraJoe
03/08/2014 at 18:46 |
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Yep. Harder sidewalls are harder to break. Even when I did them on the machine, you could tell when it took more pressure to break certain beads. After you break it - I've done worse things.
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J. Drew Silvers
> Clown Shoe Pilot
03/08/2014 at 18:49 |
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I never had to. I did it for my own curiosity. I've done most other car repair from simple to building a Toploader. After owning over a dozen vehicles, this was something I know people had to do in the past, so I wanted to see if it were still possible. Thanks for reading.
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J. Drew Silvers
> deekster_caddy
03/08/2014 at 18:54 |
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I've used them successfully many times as well and this is the first one to give me grief.
I know about tire spoons also, but if I were to buy them, that money could have gone to just having it fixed. I wanted the manual tear down experience for the sake of my own curiosity.
Hello from a fellow (former) MG owner!
zipfuel
> desertdog5051
03/10/2014 at 21:34 |
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I love love love the Slime in my mountain bike tires: ever since I hit a thorn on a "short" evening ride and was suddenly 2 hours walk from home without a spare...
I may have actually jumped up and down when that green goop appeared in the hole and it held pressure!